On a pleasant Friday evening, as the milk was boiling for my eagerly anticipated cup of chai, I found myself pondering potential writing topics. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a small child crying. My mind instantly reflected back to my own child's early years - those 2.5 years when crying was a daily soundtrack to our lives.
Despite my familiarity with the situation and my ability to empathize, I felt triggered. My immediate reaction was a slightly exasperated, "Ah! Again, the baby is crying." This response sparked my curiosity. Why did I feel triggered by a sound I had grown so accustomed to over the years?
Exploring the Triggers
Armed with my recently developed skill of self-reflection and curiosity, I decided to explore potential reasons for my reaction. Here's a summary of what I discovered through research, along with my personal reflections:
Empathy Overload:
Theory: Seeing or hearing someone cry can evoke strong empathetic responses. If we're already feeling stressed or overwhelmed, this additional emotional input can cause irritation or frustration.
My Take: NO. This didn't apply in my case, as I was feeling at peace and excited about my refreshing chai moment.
Helplessness:
Theory: Crying can make us feel helpless, especially if we don't know how to comfort the person. This sense of helplessness can turn into frustration.
My Take: Probably. Since the child was from another household, I couldn't directly offer comfort or assistance.
Personal Triggers:
Theory: Sometimes, another person's crying can remind us of our own unresolved emotions or past experiences, which can be uncomfortable and lead to irritation.
My Take: Probably. I have my own patterns that formed during my child's early years. The crying likely triggered memories of those challenging days.
Social Conditioning:
Theory: In some cultures, crying is seen as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. If we've been conditioned to view crying negatively, we might react with irritation when others cry.
My Take: Invalid in this context. As the crier was a small baby, crying is their primary means of communication. This was understandable to me.
Discomfort with Emotions:
Theory: Not everyone is comfortable dealing with strong emotions, whether their own or others'. This discomfort can manifest as frustration when faced with someone else's tears.
My Take: This feels closely related to the "Personal Triggers" point for me.
Lessons Learned
Reflecting on these potential triggers has given me valuable insights into managing my reactions better in the future. By understanding the root causes of our emotional responses, we can develop more empathy and patience, both for ourselves and others.
Opening the Discussion
Have you noticed any specific situations where you were also triggered by a baby or child's cry - perhaps while traveling, in a restaurant, or in other public places? If so, how did you process that emotion, beyond simply ignoring it?
I believe that sharing our experiences and strategies can help us all become more understanding and resilient in these situations. Let's chat about your experiences and insights in the comments below!
Share a time when you felt triggered by a child crying in public.
What was your initial reaction, and how did you manage it?
What strategies have you found helpful in dealing with unexpected emotional triggers?
Let's learn from each other and build a more empathetic community!
And also check out my writes…
Here’s the Self-Discipline in Parenting to know what it took to BE more Disciplined.”
And the Modern Times Parenting Puzzle, my kick starter post!